420 ftw
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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