3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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