i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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