They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
