WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
