I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
