so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
