I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
