Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
