dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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