I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We need to rekindle our bromance
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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