So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My vagina is officially offended.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize