i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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