just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
it's like iHOP with fire
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I have a black eye again and dont know why again