Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra

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(757): View more from Virginia

I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.

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(714): View more from California

I would go down on you faster than GM stock

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(240): View more from Maryland

Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(530): View more from California

I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.

(1-530): View more from California

fuck. you.

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(503): View more from Oregon

The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.

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(409): View more from Texas

He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.

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