Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope

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  (330): Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope http://tfl.nu/5njb
  Replies (17) Good night (730) Bad night (4221)
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  (315): View more from New York

  a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"

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  (315): a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop" http://tfl.nu/57y7
  Replies (20) Good night (4951) Bad night (1315)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over

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  (704): we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over http://tfl.nu/0v4z
  Replies (14) Good night (4845) Bad night (1288)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.

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  (412): Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super. http://tfl.nu/bpjq
  Replies (23) Good night (913) Bad night (5262)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.

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  (401): You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you. http://tfl.nu/6q4j
  Replies (14) Good night (9363) Bad night (1095)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.

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  (954): you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid. http://tfl.nu/mqq2
  Replies (5) Good night (3851) Bad night (951)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America

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  (513): just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America http://tfl.nu/08yj
  Replies (23) Good night (7129) Bad night (1502)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.

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  (954): We're sending your burrito through the mail slot. http://tfl.nu/pddr
  Replies (4) Good night (3897) Bad night (811)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.

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  (719): Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right. http://tfl.nu/8sag
  Replies (12) Good night (4092) Bad night (1021)
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  (818): View more from California

  Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.

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  (818): Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse. http://tfl.nu/0n19
  Replies (18) Good night (3485) Bad night (986)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.

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  (601): You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin. http://tfl.nu/p6zj
  Replies (7) Good night (1549) Bad night (1775)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on

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  (512): Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on http://tfl.nu/5wd1
  Replies (10) Good night (1073) Bad night (530)
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  (650): View more from California

  Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night

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  (650): Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night http://tfl.nu/338b
  Replies (9) Good night (1582) Bad night (563)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday

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  (413): Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday http://tfl.nu/bix3
  Replies (2) Good night (801) Bad night (282)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.

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  (330): FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me. http://tfl.nu/jifr
  Replies (3) Good night (527) Bad night (270)

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