You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in