The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
