Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
