i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
