Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize