Moan for me like Helen Keller
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
