hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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