so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
