I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
