You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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