i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
