Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
