you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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