I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
