do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize