I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
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The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
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You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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