I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
