Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
