hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
