it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
