so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
