Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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