6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
