your thong is hanging out like whoa
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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