Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
