'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
