Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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