you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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