at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
