i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
