naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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