I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
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Can vaginas get frostbite?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
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you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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