wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
