You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
