If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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