There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize