Yo dont text me then not text me
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
