when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think I have vodka in my lungs
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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