she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
it was like eating out sand paper
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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