oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
