Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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