I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize