Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
