is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
