i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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