Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
