Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
