he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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