this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
