i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
