My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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