who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
